When You’re Lost and Don’t Know What to Do
This morning when I woke up this thought came to my mind, “Bumper the ends of your day.”
I’m heading into a new phase in life. I met my goal and retired young, about 10 years before the average. But now I have a thing my therapist calls, “neurotic guilt” where you feel like you should be doing something productive, but you’re also grouchy, burned out, and nothing seems appealing. I’ve watched two series on Hulu, and traveled for a total of 25 days so far. I have three more shorter trips planned to St. George, NYC, and Chicago.
However, when I’m home the days can seem long and I can only make so many loaves of sourdough bread and organize my closet for the 3rd time in 2 years.
An Anecdote that Supports my Morning Thought
After I exercised: recumbent bike, stretching, and arm weights, I decided to eat frosted shredded wheat mixed with plain shredded wheat. Hashtag, fiber goals. I decided to bust out an old journal and open it to around this time. The first entry I opened to was June 9, 2019. I recounted a story of chasing a little girl around the tables, as she squeals in delight, diaper off, thick white tights around her ankles, white dress held around her waist, bare bum blowing in the wind.
I barely had her shoes on when they requested I bring her to the room to be sealed to her new adoptive parents. It was a sealing ordinance in a temple. This little girl, who minutes earlier required a short sprint to catch her, stood still. She had both her little hands on her parents’ and smiled like an angel, perfectly focused and calm.
I pondered on the “interim thing called life, chasing around, the messy middle, the chaos, the mistakes. It’s all acceptable to the Lord as long as we ultimately get back to the worthy places we’re supposed to be. Hit the pit stops, whether it’s a big one like as destination of a major ordinance. Or the daily pit stops of daily scripture study.”
The Bowling Alley of Life
So in that vein, I pictured also a bowling alley. You can put bumpers on the sides to prevent gutter balls. The ball will veer straight, left, or right, but it will never totally derail. Our morning and nighttime routines can be designed to make sure our beginning and ends hit the targets, even if we’re off all day, or our time is controlled by outside factors, like a job.
For example, morning can include an a.m. walk to get sunrise light into our eyeballs, a healthful breakfast, and prayer or meditation. Our evening can include turning off electronics an hour earlier. The extra hour may include making sure we connect with a loved one, tuck in our children (hugs, “I love you”), reading or writing in a journal. I’m pretty sure if we create habits that we start and end on, our peace of mind will increase.
The Messy Middle
Our days will include plenty of messy middles. I’m at work, but my laptop is on the kitchen counter at home. I didn’t finish my to do list. My energy couldn’t be any lower, my excitement for an upcoming trip couldn’t be any higher. I’m distracted, I’m productive, I’m overwhelmed, I’m annoyed. I’m killing it, it’s kicking my bum. Life is probably one big messy middle. But keeping on a growth and improvement track, and not straying from certain bumper habits, will create better outcomes. Because at the end of the day, it’s probably not so much what we accomplish, as who we became and the character we forged on the way there. And character starts with thoughts. Thoughts lead to words, that lead to actions, that lead to habits. But keep it simple, pick a few healthy things to do each day, without fail. Have a list of five, and if you accomplish 3, you win.
What is your list?
