Woohoo! We are entering a brand new decade and leaving 2010-2019 behind us. Did I mention I love new beginnings and fresh starts? It’s always a time to reflect on what we’ve done, what we’ve learned, and where we want to go. In fact, one of the best New Decade evaluations I did of my life was found on Marie TV. On YouTube, the place to learn anything and everything.

Looking Back

Before we keep planning forward, there is value in looking back, especially on the things we’re proud of. You may look on the past decade with fondness or relief (that it’s over). I can imagine that, for most of us, the past includes recovering from the epic 2008 recession. You may have pulled out in 2009 or 2012, or maybe you’re still not quite where you used to be in terms of income and growth.

Regardless, there are things you did that helped you to survive or pull through. Those are things to be proud of. I don’t know a person that came out of that unscathed, but we all came out with a lot of lessons. One of which was the importance to have savings, and not spend with such abandon.

So I challenge you to make a quick list of all the things you accomplished, the things you’re proud of, big or small, that was a part of your journey from January 2010 to December 2019. If you want to watch a quick video for extra inspiration, watch Marie Forleo here.

Lessons Learned

To really grow in life, it makes sense to learn and adapt as we go. Our very best lessons come in the time of the biggest trials. That’s why our trials, whether outside inflicted (like a recession), or self-inflicted (like rear ending someone because you weren’t paying attention), serve to help us learn and grow. However, we all know those people who seem to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Or fail to be reflective or self aware. I make lots of mistakes, I only get annoyed if a certain rhyme plays in my head, “Second verse, same as the first, might get better but it’ll probably get worse.” That’s a sign to me that this trial or symptom is familiar to me and I’m not paying attention, changing myself or heeding the sign.

My challenge for this section is to list the lessons you learned in the last decade. Nuggets of wisdom that you would want to pass on and for sure not forget. If you’re really honest with yourself, you’ll see that your lessons are tailor made to you. Here are examples from my journal:

• Swearing when you’re mad makes everything worse.
• You are a valuable person, independent of your career.
• Sometimes you fail.
• Being a loyal friend doesn’t mean you’ll have a friend back.

What are your lessons from the past decade? List them then circle the three most important and list why. Again, this brief video by Marie Forleo is fun and motivating. Watch here.

Letting Go Ceremony

Tradition, ritual and ceremony are important parts of our individual and collective culture. I remember one time when our girlfriend got dumped by her very serious boyfriend. We immediately thought that we needed to encircle her and come up with a healing ritual. It was very sophisticated. From the kitchen we got an Idaho baking potato, dressed it up like a man, named him Dave and proceeded to take turns stabbing and poking him with a steak knife.

They got back together a few days later and ended up getting married. I don’t recommend the ritual. Neither does he, because of course she told him about it. She’s been happily married for over 15 years.

Nonetheless, is there a list you can make of grudges, hurts, limiting thoughts that you can leave in the 2010’s? Are you willing to write it down, or find symbols for each thing and put it in once place to either burn or bury? Do it at sunrise, do it at sunset or do it at midnight, but energetically find a way to acknowledge it, thank it for its lessons and let go of it. If you’re not ready to do it, maybe 2020 is the year you choose to see a professional counselor or therapist to help you through the hurt.

Part 2 of Marie Forleo’s video provides additional ideas for this exercise. Watch it here.

Creator of Your Life

Regardless of our current circumstances, we all are creators of our life. Whether we choose to wake up and let the first words out of our mouth be positive and joyful, or grumpy and complain-ey, that’s our choice and it is part of the creation of our very day. Whether we wake up to a clean room or a messy room, that is part of the creation of our day, something we created the day before. Whether we make our bed or leave our covers piled in a mess, we are creating our day. Whether we call into work and fake sick, or go to work and give our best, that is creating our day.

And these micro creations become the macro creations of our life, whether it’s our character and demeanor, our environment, our career, or our family life. It’s really quite good news. As soon as we realize that almost everything about our life is our responsibility, the more we feel empowered to change or improve it.

So the next challenge is to project out exactly ten years from now. How old will you be? What do you want your life to look like? What are the predominant emotions and smells? What do you see when you look around? What do you do as your job? What do you do as your passion project? How do your kids regard you? How do your spouse and friends regard you? How do you regard yourself? How do you look and feel?

Then, if that wasn’t enough to consider, you’re going to write a letter from your future self to your current self. It’s a cool exercise. I followed Marie Forleo’s guidelines in her video here.

These challenges helped me get a little more clear on what I want the next 10 years of my life to look like and what I need to be doing now. Looking back makes me realize that time does pass, no matter what, so I might as well start striving toward the things that are important to me now, rather than at some mythical future date.

People tend to overestimate what can be done in one year and to underestimate what can be done in five or ten years.

Be Satisfied

One final thought, find gratitude and satisfaction in your current situation. If you’re exactly where you ought to be with the season of life you’re in, be satisfied. During the recession, I was coming out of a difficult relationship, my company was going out of business, and I found myself in a small apartment looking for a new job. Eighteen months later I was in a stable job, had purchased the cutest home at the bottom of the market, and had a new car. But then I started thinking, “I need to get married, when am I going to meet someone?” A distinct voice popped into my head that said firmly but gently, “Be satisfied . . . be satisfied.” And again, “Be satisfied.” I can still see myself standing near the pantry.

I embraced the message and enjoyed my home, my new friends and building new skills in my new job. Two years later I met my husband. It was right around New Year’s and I couldn’t have been more content, happy and ready to share my life with someone else. We just celebrated our six year wedding anniversary.

Not only do we sometimes need to be satisfied, we also need to embrace the season we’re in. If you have tiny ones at home or are taking care of an aging parent, embrace it for the season it is. Doing your best will be better prepare you for the next stage. Embrace now and visualize where you’re headed. Write down dreams and goals. It’s a long life for many of us, there’s time to do many, many things and live many, many chapters and volumes. Let’s create our life with lots of color and richness, centered on people we love and care about.

All my love and wishes for 2020 and beyond! Namaste. xo